We dated a total of four and a half years. We were engaged planning our future together. Until we realized our goals didn’t position us closer instead they separated us. Now single with only my dreams guiding me…. I move forward.
Sparkle in every flame not quite the same
orange, blue, reds appear no particular
order just lights the glorious way
In the woods I am feared spread
faster than any other you
watch helpless praying to be rescued
before all turned ruble
Marvel at my greatness I consume
any environment without warning oil, gas
are friends partner with me propel
my force dry ground my companion,
wind my accomplice combine mystery
of my treasure unfolds.
The dream hidden inside
afraid someone steal my glory
do it all again
but this time I would share
no desire to leave the world
in a state of chaos and despair
Those who follow my blog understand I am engaged to a man whose views on certain subjects differ than my own. Well, he recently, in a joking manner said he wants to marry me, but I am already married to Germany. I shared my dream with him of living in Germany and he used it against me jokingly. In relationships it is important that you make wise decisions as it relates to your dreams. Never share your dreams with someone who cannot fathom you accomplishing your future goals.
I woke up and said within myself try again for your steps are ordered and nothing is promised but today is a new day… so try again.
I admit I do not like caterpillars however, I am a lover of butterflies. If I see a caterpillar, it makes my skin crawl. Yet, I refuse to kill it. I would rather endure the pain of something I dislike presently so I can experience the glory of its greatness in the future.
Soon to be released, “When Caterpillars Die With Butterflies Inside.”
It was not until I died to manmade traditions and small minded ideology that I began to live.
A prayer that I love in the Bible is when Davis ask God, ” to teach him to number my days.” I admonish all to pray this over your own lives:
Psalm 90: 12-17
12 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.
13 Return, O Lord, how long? And let it repent thee concerning thy servants.
14 O satisfy us early with thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
15 Make us glad according to the days wherein thou hast afflicted us, and the years wherein we have seen evil.
16 Let thy work appear unto thy servants, and thy glory unto their children.
17 And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it.
I have helped built another man’s vision for so long, I forgot to invest in my own vision. Well, I had all the time in the world to work on my book while unemployed- or so I thought. Now, after two months of being unemployed, I am back at work. Life is so unpredictable. The entire process has created a since of urgency in me to use every gift for the worlds good and my ” financial gain”. I need to finish every book, dress (I am a fledgling fashion designer), play, children’s book….for my sanity alone.
I was told by my fiancé that he will teach his children there are certain groups of people they are not allowed to associate with. The number one group he considers to be detrimental; are “Uncle Toms.” His definition of an Uncle Tom is a an African-American who tries to please or suck up to Caucasians to better their position even if it means belittling those of African-American descent.
I took great offense to lesson he was trying to convey. I have been told the following; I am a white girl trapped in a black girl’s body, I act white, I speak like a white person, I forget I’m black ,and my all time favorite is- I think I’m German. Those who follow my blog know I am a lover of German culture. I told him, he is African-American, I would never teach any child that particular lesson nor do I have any intentions of raising racist children. Racism is taught through generations of hurt, bitterness, and of course, history. Research has proven children, due to untainted experiences,will play with any child of any ethnicity because their perception of the world is unscathed unlike adults.
I am so grateful that I waited until we discussed every issue under the sun to decide if I would marry this man. The differences are undeniable in the way he and I would raise a family. The original plan was to get married right away, but four years later, so happy I waited.