I was told by my fiancé that he will teach his children there are certain groups of people they are not allowed to associate with. The number one group he considers to be detrimental; are “Uncle Toms.” His definition of an Uncle Tom is a an African-American who tries to please or suck up to Caucasians to better their position even if it means belittling those of African-American descent.
I took great offense to lesson he was trying to convey. I have been told the following; I am a white girl trapped in a black girl’s body, I act white, I speak like a white person, I forget I’m black ,and my all time favorite is- I think I’m German. Those who follow my blog know I am a lover of German culture. I told him, he is African-American, I would never teach any child that particular lesson nor do I have any intentions of raising racist children. Racism is taught through generations of hurt, bitterness, and of course, history. Research has proven children, due to untainted experiences,will play with any child of any ethnicity because their perception of the world is unscathed unlike adults.
I am so grateful that I waited until we discussed every issue under the sun to decide if I would marry this man. The differences are undeniable in the way he and I would raise a family. The original plan was to get married right away, but four years later, so happy I waited.