First, I always have been attracted to men of other ethnicities. My mother was aware of this from an early age. My first kiss was with a white boy and I was one years old (seriously…this actually happened). I receive my first kiss from the toddler who lived across the hall from our apartment. Now, I assure I do not remember the incident and I don’t recall any fire works. My mother and siblings however; vividly remember my first kiss. They also take pleasure telling this story to every boyfriend I’ve ever had.
In high school, I would flirt with any guy I liked (I still kept my legs closed) just harmless fun and games. I only dated black guys in high school, but if I had been approached by any guy no matter their ethnicity; as long as he was smart, funny, a bit of a nerd (nerds rule), I would have given him a shot. My first attempt to purse a Caucasian male was as a sophomore in college.
First day of class, nothing really to report other than I sat two seats behind him in Asian History class. I did notice him though; which is interesting in itself as I prefer brunettes, and he was a blond. I thought to myself, he’s funny, (especially as he would raise his hand and make witty and aggravating comments to the professor). I am confident and bold at this point as you become more daring in college or at least I did. If I like a guy, I’ll approach him and let him know I’m interested. Finally, after a month of studying the glory of Ancient Chinese History, I decided I would make my move.
One day after class, I approached my unsuspecting prey (women hunt as well). I walked up to him playfully and made some small talk about the upcoming test. He looked stunned that I was actually talking to him. We continued talking and he appeared nervous. I thought he was going to faint when I suggested we hang out sometimes after class. I was puzzled by his reaction. I shrugged it off as he was shy and not use to girls approaching him. A few days later, I also wrote him a letter (keep in mind the year is 2010). I am old school and handwritten letters are still acceptable. He looked at me and looked at the letter and froze. He then said he would have to think about it, and thanked me for the letter. I thought to myself, “Ok….cool.” The next day I’m sitting outside in the hall waiting for the class to begin. Yes, I was waiting for him, but I acted like I wasn’t. He sees me and ask to speak privately. I’m thinking to myself this is not going to be good.
He begins telling me he was surprise when I approached him and he didn’t know what to say. He said, ” Your very beautiful, but my family does not believe in ‘couples mixing’.” He continues, ” A family member tried that, and it almost tore the family apart and I don’t want to put my family through that.” I’m standing there and I want to faint as I did not expect that! I though I wasn’t his cup of tea because of something else, not my race!! I got the memo loud and clear. We never discussed the subject ever again. Our professor would give group assignments and we would have to work together. I presented a nonchalant attitude about the whole thing…sophomore in college style so you can imagine.
It is unfair for me to present the above anecdote without the history. I live in South Carolina, USA. For those who recall US History as it relates to the Civil War; South Carolina was the first state to succeed form the Union. The ideology concerning slavery versus human rights caused a president to be assassinated and the country to be divided. It is obvious in the older generation, that there lies deep seated reservations of dating “outside your race.” The younger generation of southerners, myself included, believe you love who you want and others opinions are not significant.
Love comes in many shades. If you fortunate to be the recipient; do not deny yourself happiness because family and friends resent the package that delivers you great joy.
I have other biracial dating stories that are not as melancholy. Thanks guys and enjoy loving those who express their love to you.